in a vain attempt to ensure that my studies and life do not burn up in flames with the mountains of schoolwork, debate shizz and whatever else life throws at me the year i turn sixteen,

i am putting this blog on hold, indefinitely (take that fong yew loong i CAN spell definitely, ha).

or at least, until the end of nationals.
which will be like, end march or mid april.
well, it is part of THE plan.

oh well, whatever. bet no one reads this anyway.

so i'll end with one last thing,

goodbye.
Baby,top. || 7:04 PM

you know what,
i wish i failed every exam in secondary three.
maybe then you'll be finally happy.
cos then every single word you said would be true.
unlike now, where you go on and on about me being an utter failure at my examinations,
when the truth is, not only did i never fail a single subject in my entire life, i still dont get it why you just cant accept the fact that i got 5As, 2Bs and 2Cs for my eoys.
maybe i didnt do as excellently, fantastically, and superbly well as i have always done in almost every single examination all my life.
but get over it, will you?

i did averagely for perhaps the second time in my life.
and i did study, i did do my best.
and to me, doing my best is always good enough for the moment.

i hate you for making me feel like the lesser person than i really am.
i hate you for always being disappointed in me, no matter how many As i get.
i hate you for trying to make me feel disappointed in myself, over and over again.

Just shutup and quit it already.
this isnt going to make you feel any better, nor is it going to turn the clock back so that i can sit for my eoys again.
and the good lord himself knows this isnt going to help me any way.
so get back to me, when you finally have some constructive advice.
the definition of a failure in my eyes are the people who give up all along the way, as well as the people who put them down several times before they even have a chance to finally stand up are also to blame as well.

when you believe someone else is a failure, then you have failed them.
when you believe you have failed, that is when you finally have.
in these words, you are the failure in my life, not me.
Baby,top. || 4:56 PM

you silly girl, you didnt think that i would forget, did you?
be touched please, i wrote it on my blog, hmph.
Baby,top. || 12:45 AM

and for you,
i'll wait forever.
because it's worth it.
you're the one that makes me smile just by being there,
anytime of the day.

ashley is happy!








the lord is my shepherd
there is nothing i shall want
if i should ever walk in the valley of shadows
no evil would i fear
for your crook and your staff
are there to lead the way
Baby,top. || 11:36 PM

happy all souls day!

okay anyway.
i should really be writing my speech now for the presentation at MOE on wednesday.
but guess what i'm doing.

i'm trying to access icy tower on facebook,
while watching soccer at the same time.
and blogging.

yes, i'm also highly aware that it's 12.05am in the morning.
and anyone want to guess the best part?

unfortunately, sadly, and painfully.
i have the most number of slides out of everyone to prepare for.

excellent job, ashley.
you're going to be dead.

p.s. i think i am dead. like, i'm starting to talk to myself -.-
Baby,top. || 12:02 AM

hello world,
i'm bored.

now i know exactly how xm felt yesterday, hahaha.
there's no one online that i want to talk to.
the person(s) i want to msg is in school, dang.

so i have stooped to a sad, pathetic low of watching chelsea tv.
yes me, a manchester united fan. is watching chelsea tv.
well, there's seriously nothing to watch hmph.
i flipped through
a) la liga weekly highlights on the football channel
b) some cocacola championship match
c) oktots. i think they're showing samsam now or something to that extent. (seriously the tagline is 'it's ok to be happy!')

i guess chelsea tv is the best choice out of the lot.
it's kind of amusing how they called drogba 'mr popularity', which is kind of a big joke cos ever since i can remember i thought that everyone hated him, including his own teammates.
and i think i just saw some goalkeeper doing a split while trying to make a save :O i knew that they could be flexible, but not THAT flexible.

okay i'm blabbering.

anyway, training's starting next week. oh gosh. i'm really rusty, and i really dont want a rerun of what happened at ac again.

i have to calm down.
i really really really need to breathe, speak slower and calm down.
and i really need to start reading and doing research on my articles.
Zzz.. if we want to be good, we have to work hard now.

oh well.
Baby,top. || 1:52 PM

for my 100th post, which i thought i'd never reach. i want to say,

OMG YAY THE EXAMS ARE (FINALLY) OVER!


i thought i'd never see the day.

ashley is very happy (:


and to all those people who were there for me when i felt like i was going to go crazy during the exam period, thankyou. you really are an awesome friend (:



p.s surrogates is a really nice movie! go watch it (:
p.p.s i never believed i could spend half an hour staring into blank space, but i did. even i amaze myself, sometimes.
Baby,top. || 10:38 AM

ashley. says:
*cos you failed everything :D
XM~ says:
*):
*if 85% is fail everything, then yeah (:
ashley. says:
*yeah it is. in my world :D
*too bad you live in MY world
XM~ says:
*NO I DONT.
*D:
ashley. says:
*so your world is imaginary :D
*YES YOU DO.
XM~ says:
*your logic is flawed!
ashley. says:
*in what way?
*you're imaginary rmb
XM~ says:
*there is no evidence!
ashley. says:
*YOU DONT EXIST.
XM~ says:
*THEN NEITHER DO YOU.
ashley. says:
*lalalala. YOU DONT EXIST.
*i do. COS I LIVE IN MY WORLD
XM~ says:
*o.0
ashley. says:
*but since i choose to let you exist in MY world
*you are so.
*but in technical sense, you are imaginary :D
XM~ says:
*walao leh
*anyway, i go study now
*since i am non-existant
ashley. says:
*bye imaginary friend :D
*bye.
XM~ says:
*i can fade away (:
*bye
ashley. says:
*i like bubbles.
*bye.
XM~ says:
*o.0 u are random.
ashley. says:
*;D
XM~ says:
**pop*


hahah omg i'm darn bored.
okay i shouldnt be slacking here right now.
i need to go study study study! ):


p.s. doing english paper 1 and english paper 2 and ss paper all on the same day is no joke. i'm surprised i ever got back the conscious use of my fingers.
Baby,top. || 11:34 AM

OMG I'M FINALLY DONE WITH MY SS NOTES !


yay (:

p.s. sri you still owe me your lit notes, y'know.
Baby,top. || 11:43 PM

strength.
determination.
perseverance.

i'm taking a leaf out of mrs dubose's book.




16 more days! we can do this (:






He conquers who endures.




Baby,top. || 5:33 PM

today during amath.
i saw stars.


i think my brains are turning to cotton wool.
i really need a good sleep.
sorry guys, i know i've been listless these few days.


omg. i'm going to go nuts studying.

what's the whole freaking point anyway?
it's just a piece of paper.





18 more days! (:



p.s i like my english oral marks (: but it sucks compared to the rest of the team though ):
Baby,top. || 10:42 PM

i just realised something.
i'm probably the only one who watches van helsing and laughs hysterically at it, scary parts and all.
i dont think that's supposed to be the appropriate reaction to horror movies.
no wonder my aunty finds it disturbing.

and i also realised why i dont really get scared during horror movies.
i either only have two reactions.
a) laugh hysterically (perfect example above heh)
or
b) i dont understand what the heck is going on. (in the end i just go, 'huh. what?'. think silent hill, for those of you who know)

oh, well.
Baby,top. || 11:44 PM

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