and yes, i've been neglecting it alot.
i highly doubt anyone ever reads it anymore, but it doesnt matter. this is just a medium for me to express my thoughts (occasionally).
three words: i dont know.
anyway, i realised i've been saying them alot lately.
three words that seem to be an easy escape from all the questions i need to ask myself.
three words that dont help solve anything, adds more confusion to everything, and doesnt help anyone who's trying to help me either way (sorry lr and yl!)
everytime i ask myself those questions, the same answer goes.
i dont know.
my mind just blanks out. am i trying to block the hurt i'll feel if i admit what i think is the truth, or am i just numb to everything already such that i dont really care anymore?
i seriously havent got the foggiest clue.
i wish i knew some answers,
but at the same time. i dont want to know.
what an oxymoron.
but aint that how life is half the time?
you just walked in and turned everything upside down all over again, just like that.
i'm sick of not knowing what i feel about this whole thing, what you think, what you're trying to say (if you're trying to say anything at all).
the easiest way out of this mess is to just drop everything and walk away as if nothing happened in the first place.
but that will i be strong enough to walk away, like i did before?
i dont know.
