as requested by marian ng, i am updating my blog now (:

okay anyway so yesterday morning i woke up bright and early (this is starting to sound like some primary school essay Zzz) and met natasha and rochelle at yishun mrt where i was late but rochelle was later . ha, see my theory's right. if you tell someone to meet you at 7.30 you should expect them to come around 7.45. we took a bus to mgs which thankfully we didnt get lost thanks to nat's amazing map reading and place locating skills (: we didnt even walk in the wrong direction, which i bet if you left me and chel to get to mgs on our own we would be lost for two weeks in the bukit timah area, since we both have absolutely no sense of direction whatsoever.

first round was against scgs, which the juniors lost. sigh, the motion was so much into their favor, and it was such an easy debate to prep an impromptu for. the motion was This House Would deny scarce medical resources to terminally ill patients, and they were opp. they could have used all three points that we prepped with them when discussing medical ethnics, like the sanctity of life, freedom of choice and the right to live. but in the end, they just dropped alot of stuff they should have been picking up on. and they werent.. participative enough during the debate. i know exactly how nalli felt now. oh well, i guess we all have to start somewhere, and i remember nat, anna and i lost our first dont know how many debates before we finaly won the second round of nationals.

it wasnt that scgs was excellent, but my juniors were just.. not good enough? i dont know. sometimes i feel like it's our fault for not pushing them hard enough, but at the same time, i wish they would put in more effort and actually care more about debate. as in, it's no use if we all push and they dont pull right? okay my analogy sucks. and it's not that bad, they won the third round at least. but according to nat, it wasnt that they were good, it was that both sides were bad but the other school was just worst. i guess we all have to work on it.

then it was off to church for the church segment of the north district youth rally. it was fun and embarassing at the same time, cos the youth group made us do this skit and aurielle and i had to sing 'you are not alone' but i ended up laughing so hard at that part that i couldnt sing and aurielle had to sing it alone. sorry ): yeah then we went to hersing hub for the youth rally, where i saw a whole bunch of other ij girls (and i realise grace neo is still shorter than me wherever i go hahahah)

it was really fun yet touching at the same time. like cheryl suddenly just fainted infront of us halfway through the kneeling part and we were all so freaked out we didnt know what to do at first. and then there was this part after the kneeling part where they asked us whether we were willing to commit ourselves to god 100% and to choose god as our only true master and stuff like that, and told us to stand up if we did, and for some reason i couldnt stand up even though i tried to and i just continued kneeling there and i dont know why but i couldnt stop crying and i thought no one noticed cos i was trying to cry quietly which was quite fail cos nat and louisa started hugging me in the end. i dont know, i was thinking about how i wanted to commit myself to god, but then i asked myself, if i say yes now, then what about when all those distractions come, and i cant fully fulfill my promise? i dont want to be like those people, who say yes god i'll always be fully commited to you and then after that they just forget god when all the bad stuff happens. as in, it's a big thing you know, saying yes to god and all that, and i wasnt sure if i was ready yet. i guess some day, hopefully during confirmation, i'll be ready to fully commit myself to him. and i know he'll always be there waiting for me, cos that's just how jesus is.

i guess crying and speaking to god at that moment on how i wasnt sure if i was ready made me feel alot better, cos i felt all light and happy after that. nat thought i was nuts during the song cos i kept jumping up and down (seriously hahaha), and she said maybe the holy spirit hit me when i was kneeling down, and that's why i started crying and all. well, maybe? all i know is that it's a great feeling (:

yeah then after our church had to leave first and so they brilliantly tried to stuff everyone into the same lift. i guess the guys were high or something and they started jumping up and down IN THE LIFT, causing the lift to crash at the first floor and we were stuck in there for a whole 50 minutes -.- yeah and everyone's phone lost connection except for nat's and it became really hot and stuffy and difficult to breathe after that. some of them became dizzy and people started to faint, but i didnt get freaked out or anything cos somehow, i still felt really light and happy. i must be either going insane, or the holy spirit whacked me darn hard. so like after 50 minutes they finally got us all out of the lift and really, i was never so glad to have fresh air in my life (:

but it wasnt over. on the bus back marianne started hyperventilating and like suddenly nat looked at me and went, 'ashley, i cant remember anything from POA and i feel dizzy', and i was like, 'err.. do you need to puke? if you puke on me i'll kill you.' and she was like 'no. i just feel really tired', and she suddenly collapsed on me. or rather, my bag. and i started laughing at first cos i was thought she was so tired she fell asleep or something, but it turned out she fainted on me. omg, seriously darn freaky la. and then like norres, aurielle, louisa and even the guy who was sitting behind us stood up to see (i think his name is gavin) didnt believe me when i said nat fainted, until i kind of shouted at norres to get someone, which thank god he believed me and did. yeah, but nat came around pretty quickly, which is a good thing. i'd die without my vice captain (:

in the end, i guess it was a good thing in the end, that the lift broke down cos it really helped us to see god, especially after the rally and how there'll always be hope, no matter how bad the situation seems. and it seemed like in a way, god was helping everyone get closer to each other through this experience, and i think he just wanted us to see, that he would always be there for us (:

p.s sorry xy i couldnt make it to your homecoming, i promise i'll go next year! (even though i promised last year that i'd go this year hahahah)
p.p.s cath class was awesome today (: i really hope we stay this way